1. Zelda and Jane were given a rottweiler at their commitment
ceremony. If their dog needs to be walked two miles a day and
they walk at a rate of 3/4 mile per hour, how much time will
they spend discussing their relationship in public?

2. Michael has two abusive stepfathers and an alcoholic mother. If
his self-esteem is reduced by 20% per dysfunctional parent, but
Michael feels 3% better for every person he denigrates, how long
will it take before he's ready to go home if 1 person walks by the
cafe every 2 minutes?

3. Sanjeev has 7 piercings. If the likelihood of getting cellulitis
on a given day is 10% per piercing, what is the likelihood Sanjeev
will need to renew his erythromycin prescription during the next week?

4. Chad wants to take half a pound of pot to Orinda and sell it at a
20% profit. If it originally cost him $1,500 in food stamps, how much
should Nicole write the check for?

5. The City and County of San Francisco decide to destroy 50 rats
infesting downtown. If 9,800 animal rights activists hold a
candlelight vigil, how many people did each dead rat empower?

6. A red sock, a yellow sock, a blue sock, and a white sock are
tossed randomly in a drawer. What is the likelihood that the first two
socks drawn will be socks of color?

7. George weighs 245 pounds and drinks two triple lattes every
morning. If each shot of espresso contains 490mg of caffeine, what
is George's average caffeine density in mg/pound?

8. There are 4500 homes in Mill Valley and all of them recycle
plastic. If each household recycles 10 soda bottles a day and
buys one polar fleece pullover per month, does Mill Valley have
a monthly plastic surplus or deficit?

*Bonus question*: Assuming all the plastic bottles are 1 liter
size, how much Evian are they drinking?

9. If the average person can eat one pork pot sticker in 30 seconds,
and the waitress brings a platter of 12 pot stickers, how long will it
take five vegans to not eat them?

10. Todd begins walking down Market Street with 12 $1 bills in
his wallet. If he always gives panhandlers a single buck, how
many legs did he have to step over if he has $3 left when he reaches
the other end and met only one double-amputee?

Advanced Placement Students Only:

11. Katie, Trip, Ling, John-John and Effie share a three-bedroom
apartment on Guerrero for $2400 a month. Effie and Trip can share
one bedroom, but the other three need their own rooms with separate
ISDN lines to run their web servers. None of them wants to use the
futon in the living room as a bed, and they each want to save $650
in three months to attend Burning Man.

What is their best option:

a. All five roommates accept a $12/hour job-share as handgun
monitors at Mission High.

b. Ask Miles, the bisexual auto mechanic, to share Effie and
Trip's bedroom for $500/month.

c. Petition the Board of Supervisors to advance Ling her annual
digital-artists-of-color stipend.

d. Rent strike.