60 ABOVE: Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.

45 ABOVE: Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans sunbathe.

32 ABOVE: Distilled water freezes. Lake Superior water gets thicker.

20 ABOVE: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

15 ABOVE: Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

ZERO: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans lick the flagpole.

40 BELOW: The Iditarod is postponed. The Twins start spring training.

55 BELOW: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Minnesota Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80 BELOW: Mt. St. Helen freezes. People in Minnesota rent some videos.

100 BELOW: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

297 BELOW: Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Minnesota complain about farmers with cold hands.

460 BELOW: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Minnesota start saying........"Cold nuff for ya?"

500 BELOW: Hell freezes over. The Vikings win the Super Bowl!!!!

--author unknown---

State Mottos That Didn't Make It