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State Mottos

That Didn't Make It

A pressing theological question is now answered!

Acura Integra: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune selling the engine to some kid with a Civic.

Hot Rods and Custom Classics - get your favorite 
car tunes here BMW 745 (2003): I have always wanted to own the Pontiac Aztek of German Luxury Sedans

Buick Allure: I know what LaCrosse means in English

Buick Allure: Je sais ce que signifie LaCrosse en anglais

Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states

Cadillac BLS: Ich habe nichts vom Cimarron erlernt

Cadillac Catera: I learned nothing from the Cimarron

Cadillac CTS: I learned nothing from the Catera

Cadillac Eldorado: I am a pimp

freedomcorp.gov - tsunami relief info here Cadillac Escalade EXT: I enjoy scaring small children

Cadillac Deville: I am a very good Mary Kay Salesperson

Cadillac XLR: I learned nothing from the Allanté

Chevrolet Avalanche: I really enjoy scaring small children

Chevrolet Blazer: I would not be caught dead in a Ford Explorer

Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people

Chevrolet Caprice: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

Gone in 60 Seconds Chevrolet Cavalier coupe: I start 11th grade in the fall

Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'vette.

Chevrolet Corvair: I will beat you up if you ask me if I voted for Ralph Nader

Chevrolet Corvette: I am having a mid-life crisis

Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Chevrolet Suburban: I have seen The Passion of the Christ 25 times

Chevrolet Tracker: I start 12th grade in the fall

Chrysler P.T. Cruiser: I know, I know. I think it should have been a Plymouth, too.

Chevrolet Trailblazer: I have always wanted to own the Buick Rainier, GMC Envoy, Isuzu Ascender, Oldsmobile Bravada and/or SAAB 9-7X of SUVs.

Chrysler Voyager: I am a soccer mom

Citroen 2CV: Je trouve vos sembler d'automobile étranges, aussi

Dodge Caravan: I am a little league mom

Daewoo Leganza: I have always wanted to own the Oldsmobile of Korean automobiles

Dodge Diplomat: I used to enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

Dodge Durango: I will not be caught dead in a Ford Explorer

Dodge Neon: I cannot stand the Macarena

Dodge Power Wagon: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them

Ford Excursion: I love the spotted owl. Tastes just like bald eagle

Ford Expedition: I have always wanted to own the Range Rover of American SUVs

Ford Explorer: I would not be caught dead in a minivan

Ford Mustang Cobra: I slow down to 85 in school zones

Gone in 60 Seconds Y2K Ford Ranchero: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Honda Accord: I am getting tired of those What Would Jesus Drive? jokes.

Honda Civic: I have seen The Fast and the Furious 25 times

Honda Civic Hybrid: I haven't

Hummer H1: I pronouce it Kuh-lee-for-nee-ah.

Hummer H2: I love the spotted owl. Tastes just like California condor.

Hyundai Accent: I delivered pizza for years in order to get this car

Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending

Jaguar XK8: I sold my Enron stock just in time

Kia Rio: I didn't

Kia Spectra: I learned nothing from the Hyundai Elantra

Lexus LS400: I am the lawyer suing the owner of the Infiniti Q45

Lincoln Navigator: I don't bother comparing gas prices

Lincoln Town Car: I have always wanted to own a Lincoln even uglier than their 1958 line-up

Maybach: I will beat you up if you ask me if I am a professional athlete.

Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler

Mercury Grand Marquis: I live for bridge and covered supper dishes

5
Star Humor Site Mercury Sable Station Wagon: I am afraid of my wife

Mercedes 600SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph

Mini (Austin, British Leyland, BMC, Cooper, Morris, Rover, etc.): I have seen The Italian Job 25 times

Mini (BMW): I have seen The Italian Job 25 times

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII: I eat Subaru WRX's for breakfast

MGB: I am dating a mechanic

Nissan Altima: I don't know what it means, either

Nissan Maxima: I am still in the closet

Nissan Sentra: I am an accountant and I voted for George W. Bush

Nissan Tsuru: Soy contable y voté por Vicente Fox.

Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings

Oldsmobile Bravada: I know, I know. At least they're killing the Aztek, too.

Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts

Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser: I get carsick driving minivans

Oldsmobile Delta 88 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

Taken for a Ride Opel Vectra: Ich habe wünschte immer zu eigenem den Saturn LS300 Chevrolet Malibu der deutschen Familie sedans.

Plymouth Breeze: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a Mercedes-Benz product that is no longer being made.

Plymouth Neon: I enjoy the Macarena

Plymouth Voyager: I am still a soccer mom

Pontiac Aztek: I am getting paid to drive this thing

Pontiac Firebird: I still watch Rockford Files reruns

Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock

Pontiac Vibe: I have always wanted to drive the Toyota Matrix of American compact wagons

Porsche 928: I am dating big-haired women who would otherwise be inaccessable to me

Range Rover: I have always wanted to own the BMW X5 Ford Expedition of British SUVs

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Maggie Thatcher is a touch too Whig for me

Rover 3500: I am married to a mechanic

SAAB 900: I do not care about J.D. Powers or his surveys

Saturn ION: I do not care about Car and Driver or Automobile Magazine or their road tests

Saturn LS300: I am in the Federal Witness Protection program

Saturn SL1: I hope someday to make it to a gathering in Spring Hill

Saturn SL2: I made it to a gathering in Spring Hill

Saturn VUE: I have always wanted to own the Saturn of SUVs

Scion xB: I know what "all your base are belong to us" means

Subaru WRX: I eat Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII's for lunch

Suzuki Grand Vitara I do not want to know what it means

Toyota Camry: I have always wanted to own the Chevrolet Biscayne of Japanese family sedans

Toyota Corolla: I teach first grade and I voted for both Bush 41 and Bush 43

Toyota Echo: I have always wanted to own a Japanese compact even uglier than the Datsun 710

Toyota Matrix: I have always wanted to own the Pontiac Vibe of Japanese compact wagons

Toyota Prius: I have seen Fahrenheit 911 25 times

Toyota Sienna: I have heard Spongebob Squarepants: The Movie 25 times

Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet

Volkswagen Jetta: I enjoy putting out engine fires

Volkswagen Microbus: I am tripping right now

Volkswagen New Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns

Vokswagen Touareg: I can't pronounce it, either

Volvo (any): I will beat you up if you ask me about that @#!$%^! Everclear song

Volvo 740 Wagon: I am afraid of my wife

Words To Live By - Disintegrata

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